Insight Into Marriage
Greetings and good morning brothers and sisters. This is Dr. James Perry continuing with our series
where we seek to explore the deeper meanings of our relationship with Jesus Christ. Over the years,
the heavenly Father has revealed many revelations of spiritual truth to me, and I want to share them
with you. This morning we seek to understand the insight into marriage.
And now, sit back and listen to today's message.
Insight Into Marriage
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and
they shall be one flesh." Genesis, Chapter 2, Verse 24.
May all of your tomorrows be better than all your todays;
And may all of your todays prepare you for your tomorrows.
Brothers and sisters, what is marriage? In its most simplest term, marriage is the state that we allude
to when two people decide to live together, usually in a sexual relationship, to become a union,
sharing all things. For purposes of discussion, we shall limit the parameters of this state to male and
female. What is the nature of the forces that urge a male and a female to marry? But before preceding
further, a clarification is needed for the legal minded. Some may say that they are not married, just
living together. We care for each other but we are not married. Legally they are not, but a legal
reality does not supersede the truth of life.
However, further analysis shows that this argument flies in the face of the actual experience that a
couple experiences. For when we look at the experience of this couple as compared to the couple that
is legally married, with the exception of the legal sanctions, we see no difference in the emotional
and the physical aspects. Therefore things equal to the same thing are equal to each other; and this
argument against the reality of marriage in the absence of legal sanctions must be a species of
deception, a self deception no doubt engaged in to protect something deep in the psyche of the
individual. When the person says that they are merely living together, what he/she is usual referring
to is the degree of loyalty or commitment to the marriage and not the act of marriage itself.
Regardless of the degree of commitment to one another, as long as they live together as a sexual
couple, they are in fact married, be that for a short period or a long period. These are in effect trial
marriages based upon transient factors and not marriages based upon commitments. Men and women
have been living together since the very beginning without any legal or religious sanctions. These
adjuncts to marriage arose much later to compensate for the problems inherent in such a
relationships, problems which we shall explore later in this discussion.
Now back to the consideration of the urges, desires and ultimately the decision that results in a
couple's union. Sometimes around puberty, boys and girls begin to experience a new appreciation
for each other; they become attracted to each other in ways they have never experienced before. This
new attraction is not something that they have thought about or planned, rather it comes upon them
suddenly. They become conscious of a new set of emotions--the reproductive emotions. These
emotions are complex and include the feelings of romantic love with its idealization of the love
object, along with a very strong powerful urge to mate--to in effect to marry. These urges are
unremitting, and they are enshrouded with emotions of longing, anticipation, happiness and pleasure.
Members of the opposite sex who had been viewed with indifference or even hostility now take on
the view of desire objectified. Anyone who has passed through this experience knows exactly what
we are talking about here. No further description of the emotions are required. It is only necessary
to point out that these urges and desires are a such a compelling nature that most normal males and
females succumb to them.
In various aspects of human history, these powerful urges have been regulated by society by various
means. These powerful urges have as their final goal the perpetuation of the species. And almost
without fail most women desire to reproduce themselves, and most of them do, as the continuing
human race testifies. And it is a result of this reproduction that has caused society to regulate the
marriage of men and women. The legal sanctions and later the religious sanctions all arose as a result
of the long term requirement of care required for the helpless infant, and the relative long period of
supervision for the growing child. These are the facts of the consequence of mating.
But now we live in a modern age, where the reproductive urge need not result in offspring, but we
still have many abortions and many unwanted children appearing in contrast to the conscious desires
of the consenting partners. Why is that? Human beings share with all living things the deep natural
urge to reproduce themselves. Humans being self conscious of the process can elect to modify, deny,
or ignore the urge. But a human being who chooses to do other than the natural urge to reproduce
must keep this self conscious awareness in his mind at all times during proposed sexual activity or
reproduction will happen.
Thus we see there is a dichotomy between the natural functioning of human and the self conscious
desires of human beings. And it is this dichotomy that has led to the problems of modern times. I
dare say that most of the abortions that occur today occur in couples that do not enjoy the sanctions
of law or religion. Too often when couples live together without the sanctions of law or religion,
either one of both of the consenting partners have in the back of their mind that if they are not
altogether pleased with each other, they have the option of backing out of the marriage, and it is the
appearance of a pregnancy that usually disrupts the relationship and consequently an abortion. It is
easy to see that the probability of an abortion markedly decreases in a marriage that enjoys legal and
religious sanctions. And in those cases where conscience prevents an abortion, the result is
unbelievable suffering as one partner struggles along trying to carry out the child-rearing
responsibility. And this enforced duty usually leaves its marks of bitterness and skepticism. And
more times than not, society becomes involved in this problem of default on the part of one of the
partners, because, quite frequently, the economic consequences are more than one parent along can
shoulder.
And even in this modern time, we have observed that most women desire to have the sanctions of
law and religion to buttress their marriage at some point in time though they may not share this
desire with the partner initially. And sometimes it is this failure of the partners to ratify the marriage
with legal sanctions that disrupt the union. As we survey the problems associated with and growing
out of the reproductive urges, we conclude that at least legal and perhaps religious sanctions are
necessary to prevent and to alleviate the distressing problem of failure to understand the true nature
of the reproductive urges. This is the self perpetuating phase of human activities.
But even with those couples who choose the sanctions of legal and religious to shore up their union,
we have witnessed an almost 50 percent breakdown in the marriage, thus creating a serious problem
for society. The family, being the source of citizens for society, determines the quality of the
citizenry that go on to comprise society. No society can long stand the breakdown of the home. And
so even with and without trial marriages, the union of man and women is on very shaky grounds.
This problem must be solved or society will itself breakdown--we are already seeing these trends.
But why do so many marriages fail, even those that enjoy the legal and religious sanctions? This
problem is very complicated and grows out of several factors, among which are the failure to
recognize the transient nature of romantic feelings in its acute state, the failure to recognize the
function of marriage, the rapid liberation of women, and the failure to recognize the different natures
of male and female. Romantic feelings are the stimulus and the incentive that basically transforms
males and females who are uninterested in each other in an intimate way into two people who are
extremely interested in each other intimately. The feelings are strong but they begin to fade when
the union is consummated and are replaced by more parental feelings.
This concludes today's message on understanding the meaning of insight into marriage. We hope you
find something in this message to ponder and pray about as you go about your day. Until next time,
this is Dr. James Perry.
Inspirational Messages
By Dr. James Perry
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Insight Into Marriage
